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Friday, April 10, 2009
There's probably half a million things that are going through my head at the present moment. =/ These things are like.. On the opposite sides of the world. haha.. I'm kinda struggling internally to have a fixed emotion, like being happy; glad; emo; angry; sad. But, not everything at the same time. =S So, I'm really glad that we're saved through the scarifice of Christ on Calvary. Thank God for sending His son to die on the cross for us, so we can one day be reunited with Him again in eternity. =) I'm grateful for His love and guidiance for the past year through all the difficult times and pray that I'll continue to have faith in Him and leave everything in His hands no matter what happens; knowing that He knows what's best for me. =) And comes the emo-ness. I don't really know where this stems from, but, I kinda think it comes from the 2 weeks that I've got before I enlist. As I come to think of it, when my friends/buddies enlisted in Dec/Jan/Mar/Apr, we'll have a party of some sort for 'em before they go and serve the nation. For me, I sortta figured out it'll be me, myself, and I. (Of course, the Lord as well =) ) There isn't like any friends that'll be available on the weekdays leading to my enlistment. ~sigh~ And everyone else just seems all too busy with their other stuffs to perhaps even realise I'm not enlisted/enlisting soon. Just perhaps. I'd say I'm more disappointed than angry at this point in time. I've taken time, allocated time to take my juniors out for an outing, arranged all the logistics for them, prepared everything nicely already. And then, they come and tell me, "Sorry, I've got family dinner.. blahblahblah". The whole world seems to have family dinner on that night issit? Well, I was really pissed off when I saw e first msg that came through. Thank God, that didn't reply to it, 'cos I'd really have blasted at that fella w/o any concerns what-not. (I can be really nasty when it comes to these things) I was thinking,"In your fit of anger, do not sin." Right. I'm pretty much cooled off now, but still really unhappy about it. This is really disappointing. If you're unable to commit, do not commit yourself. For all the trouble and organisation that I've done, what do I get? NOTHING. I do not get anything nor expect anything in return for all that I've done or going to do. BUT, the least they could have done is to show their commitment. DISAPPOINTING. (I shall get myself over it soon.) To finish it, Thursday was a pretty special day too. haha.. It's been 2 years. I can still remember it quite clearly. I guess, I'll need a tad more time for it to totally blow over. haha.. At least the awkward-ness isn't really that bad now, I think. To a certain extent, it ain't really matter since I doubt people will meet each other again heh. haha.. Like, same faculty. lol! Kudos! P/S: I think I just need my sleep la. haha.. I'm tired. But, I really mean what I said in the first 2 paragraphs. PLEASE ask me out. haha..
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